it would be called, You Can’t Make this Shit UP

At the beginning of the month, my daughter moved into a new house; ok not new new, but new to her. Things started on schedule and then it fell apart.

Fred, the handyman we hired, had his own schedule. Priorities, that I thought I was pretty clear on, included hanging light fixtures, redoing the tub/shower to a shower, and installing an ADA toilet. Let’s just say, my daughter came to my house to shower for the first week and there was a late night run to Target for a floor lamp. In Fred’s defense, he did slice his finger open. To the tune of 24 stitches and an all day stint in the local ER. Oh Shit!  Apparently handymen have their own way of doing things. Who knew?

We had 4 days to move. Sounds like a lot of time, but I’m still feeling the aftermath of a broken toe and recently fell and hurt my shoulder. My daughter is disabled and has challenges being on her feet for extended periods and/or doing a lot of walking. 4 days in our case is a serious time crunch.

The guys we rounded up to move her furniture were great, but there was still a lot to pack and move. Then the obstacles started presenting themselves.

Dead car battery: 3 hours lost. And the embarrassment that comes with leaving your car on the street in a new neighborhood where the HOA rules state” No overnight street parking.” Way to make a good impression. (They were all fine with it.)

Chainsaws at 7:30 in the morning. Ok, that was my bad, but not really. Hired a company to clear out the dead bushes, trim tress etc on a small property that hadn’t had a haircut in probably a year. We agreed on 9am, they showed up at 7:30. Totally screwing up this first impression thing.

Fred’s broken key while his truck was blocking the garage and we had a car full of boxes. Did I mention it was raining/hailing. 2 hours lost. However there was the entertainment of him guiding his wife from the other side of town during rush hour in a storm.  He had her on speaker so we got to enjoy both sides of the conversation.

OH CRAP: The car plates are going to expire today and it happens to be the year you need emission testing. 1 hour lost.

Bad Paint Mix:  I thought running out of paint wasn’t going to be an issue. Run to the store, get the same paint, they mix it up with their fancy computer guided color thingy. Only when we started painting, it wasn’t the same color. WHAT? HOW? ARE YOU FRICKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW? Back to the paint store; 1 and half hours lost.

Last run through of the old apartment it is discovered that kitchen knives and pots and pans did not get packed. I’m calm. Not sure why or how, but I am.

We did manage to get everything done, with 2 and half hours to spare. I learned a lot about moving, which I personally haven’t done for over 25 years, and when I take that step, I’ll be a lot more prepared. Oh, who am I kidding?  I recently read that the best memories come from those things that go awry. I anticipate lots more memories.