Hello there. So I guess it’s been a long time since I posted, so long I let my wordpress account on this site lapse. I considered letting it go completely and then realized that sometimes I want a place to share random things.
How does time go by so quickly? 2016 is a Leap Year, but what that really means is Leap Day; cause let’s admit it, it only lasts for one day. I’d like a real Leap Year. An entire year to not be responsible….for anything. No bills, no taxes, no obligations. An entire year to clear out not only the physical stuff that has taken over my life, but the emotional crap as well.
I recently started a new business adventure and although it is going rather well, my domestic life has taken a hit. I need to get back to removing that which I don’t use, want, or love out of my living space. Spring Cleaning; but not for the sake of making room for new.
I DON’T WANT ANY MORE NEW!
Well unless it’s fabric.
When I was working in the corporate world, we were told to dress for the job you want, not the one you have. I started to think about how that could translate to any changes in life. For example: if you want to be an artist; do the things an artist does. If you want to be healthier; act healthy. Whatever the goal or task, you are the one who needs to define it. Google is not in charge here, you are.
Right now I want to be calmer.
1. What does calm look like? Where can I be proactive? What is preventing calm?
Make a list. Make a chart. With COLORS! But not too long, the ultimate goal is to be successful and if the quantity of tasks outweighs their quality, I am doomed.
3. Celebrate, but be forgiving.
So that is the plan. Identify, track, fall down, get back up and applaud.
ALL WITH A PINK ATTITUDE!
I just completed a 900+ mile literal memory road trip. I went to childhood homes, hangouts, schools, and cemetaries. I drove down the roads where I learned to ride a bike and drive a car. Went by the place of my first kiss, first school dance, first heartbreak, first fender bender, first legal drink, and first broken bone. Ended up on the streets where people lived that I haven’t thought about in years.
I went into buildings that I once frequented where nothing had really changed and often found new buildings where others had once stood. Drove through towns that I hardly recognized and ones that have remained the same for over 50 years. I discovered museums filled with immense history and sanctuaries of pure solitude.
I reminisced with old friends and made some new ones. Some of us have stayed put geographically, while others like myself have moved many miles away.
When the journey ended, I boarded a plane and headed home. Home. Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? In my youth, I always considered home to be the place where I grew up. That feeling you get when you pull in to the gas station where you were still too young to drive. I thought when I moved away, that feeling would never follow me.
Home is different for me now. It is many years and miles from my youth. It is where I had my first adult job, bought my first home, married, bore my child, and traveled the legal jungle of my divorce.
Looking back, there are many places I could have ended up. I’ve even spent too many hours lamenting my choices; not any more. I am happy where I am and what I have done. I am where I am supposed to be.
I am home.
I am off to my High School Reunion this week. Anxiety is kicking in and I still need to pack. It’s been a long time since I’ve been back. I went to a boarding school, so it’s not like I’m going “home.”
The typical thoughts flood my mind: should have lost some weight, I won’t measure up to other’s successes, I won’t remember half of them, they won’t remember me.
Every school has them; The Breakfast Club breakdown. Princess, Brain, Athlete, Basket-Case, and Criminal. Like the movie, we all share a bond. Most of us away from home for the first time; struggling with adolescence. Gravitating towards our own; forming tribes.
My hope is that time has softened the bad memories enough that we won’t hold the past against one another. The good memories will rise to the occasion and the tribes will come together in perfect harmony. We will discover that no matter how disconnected we were back then, we all had similar experiences. We will laugh and create new memories and maybe even cross the lines and form new friendships.
I rose to the challenge and along the way what I learned about myself does not make me happy.
I was the eternal optimist. Silver linings? I could ALWAYS find them; even in a surgical waiting room. ALWAYS!
I marveled at glorious sunsets and spectacular moon rises.
I did chores to good old fashioned Rock ‘N Roll.
I smiled. ALL THE TIME. And laughed. Lots and lots of laughter.
Somewhere along the route called life, I lost myself. But, you can’t go back. You can only move forward. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to open my eyes and embrace the humor and happiness life has to offer.
With a PINK ATTITUDE!
PS: I just finished writing this post and “Let it Be” came on the radio. I swear, you can’t make this shit up. Yep, I’m laughing!